The Top 2 UMD Drunk Food Destinations You Can’t Live Without
Taco Bell
Wow, the greasy bomb of regret and pure bliss. Taco Bell is that beautiful blend of “untraditional Mexican food” and meat that might be real, but at 2:00 AM you genuinely do not care. My go-to? The cheesy gordita crunch with the Doritos shell. Unreal. Life-changing. A spiritual experience.
Let’s be honest: if you’re ordering Taco Bell drunk, you’re not just getting one item. You’re getting five, passing out before they even arrive, and waking up the next morning to a bag of half-eaten surprises like it’s Christmas morning for degenerate adults. That’s the real magic of Taco Bell: the mystery, and the questionable decisions.
And Crunchwraps? Sorry, overrated. They act like they’re packed with meat and then hit you with three crumbs and a prayer. The meximelt, though? Legendary. Should’ve never been discontinued, it’s the jager bomb of Taco Bell items, the best ever!
Biergarten (Dog Haus)
Now this is when you enter the real food category. Biergarten will have you demolishing a gourmet burger at 3:30 AM like you haven’t eaten in six days. They’ve got burgers, breakfast burritos, wings, Hot Dogs, Sausages chicken sandwiches. SO MANY OPTIONS all of which are all genuinely insane and way better quality than any place that willingly operates during the drunk-zombie hours of the night should ever be.
Biergarten will have you seeing double, this partly because the food is unreal, but mostly because you drank thirteen beers and thought you were fine. In addtion, The sauce selections are so unreal you can use them as a chaser.
Conclusion
The only reason Taco Bell even competes with this masterpiece of late-night cuisine is pure nostalgia and circumstance. Not every night calls for a gourmet burger crafted by the Gordon Ramsay of drunk food. Sometimes you just want a grease-ball of goodness that destroys your stomach and your dignity at the same time.
Biergarten is basically Taco Bell if Taco Bell grew up in Beverly Hills, went to prep school, and had a trust fund. Taco Bell is chaos; Biergarten is class. They both hit, but are just different vibes.
